Author: Alexis
Before Dahn Yoga I was a very sick person, barely able to function in society at times. My low moments included repetitive and debilitating negative thoughts, and also feelings of depression and hopelessness. These low moments were interspersed with raging levels of high energy, or mania. I was diagnosed with Manic Depression at 20 years of age. It took me 4 long years of struggle to find the solution which would help me cure my illness: Dahn Yoga (such simple, yet comforting words to my heart).
During those four years I tried anything - and everything - to stabilize my mind and body. I took 8 medications daily, including anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medication, anti-psychotics, and mood stabilizers. However, my high level of worry and anxiety caused me to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms, like over-eating unhealthy foods, and often times having incredibly itchy skin. Medication did not cure these annoyances. I felt so helpless and hopeless because nothing helped me to feel stable, happy, or peaceful to the depth that I desired.
I read many books and used workbooks to document my negative thinking habits and eating patterns. But no amount of writing and thinking helped to change my mind. I went to a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Group after being hospitalized and learned about techniques to manage stress and emotion - but they were just techniques. I attended Dialectical Behavioral Therapy group in college to solve my over eating habits, but because I was surrounded by many sick people, I only began to identify more as a “sick person.” For one year I attended a support group for people who had mental illness, but we did not have much mind for how to heal ourselves or take proper steps towards real stability and health. Instead we vented, shared, cried, and searched without a clear way to make peace and harmony within our mind and body.
What else did I try? Throughout my 4 years of clinical diagnosis I had three therapists. I enjoyed to talk (i.e. rant and rave) to them, listen, learn and practice trying to create a healthy mind. But I did not find peace inside my heart or mind. I drank herbal drinks, took fish oil pills, practiced sleeping a lot, journaling, running and even hypnosis at one point when I was studying overseas. Over this trying four year period, I was hospitalized 4 different times because of the mania.
Personally, I could not heal myself with these types of remedies. But they gave me ammunition to try ANYTHING. Then I found Dahn Yoga at my undergraduate University. I resisted and said no at first to most things, but in my heart it always felt right to me when my instructor guided me to take a program, so I just trusted and participated in many courses. Because of my determination to heal myself, I soon committed to very regular practice. Then, after two months I attended the Shim Sung (true self) workshop. From that moment forward, I knew that I had something inside of me that was stronger and more powerful than my illness. Before, I always used the line, “I am Bipolar” to identify myself. But through this experience, I could drop that old baggage. Instead, I discovered profound new ways to identify myself: “I am…courage, strength, peace, joy and love.” Suddenly, I knew then that I could heal myself.
According to modern medicine, it is very unusual to overcome mental illness by oneself. However I realized that, in fact, this is the only way. I feel lucky to share with you that through my many wonderful experiences participating in Dahn programs (such as Initial Awakening, Shim Sung, Private Healing sessions, and Dahn Mu Do), I have been able to come off of all medications and completely manage my own health and happiness! What a miracle!!
Now I have healed myself more than I ever imagined, and gained the tools to manage the mania, depression, and anxiety. After attending Initial Awakening, I could manage my stress and emotions. From Shim Sung & Healer School I knew my worth and preciousness as a human being and found my life purpose. Through Dahn Mu Do, I found my beauty, strength and inner power. I harnessed my abundant energy and brought it inside of my body. I feel that what used to be my illness and weakness instead became my healing energy and my source of power.
Now, as a Dahn Yoga Instructor I teach as many people as possible all of the tools, wisdom, and insight I have gained. I wish for all who suffer as I did to know that with your Dahn Jon (“energy center”) and life purpose in mind, you can use everything from your life – even what seemed to a crippling mental illness – to help you become a great healer to yourself and to the rest of the world.
Ilchi Lee selected article
